To be alone is to be in solitude. It is a pleasant state to be alone. It is a boon. It opens the door to greater self-awareness. You can focus on your body and observe its composition, how it works, and grievances. You can dwell upon your thoughts. Solitude has three advantages. At the material growth level, you can review your goals, make new goals, or sharpen the old ones. You can reflect on your progress. It provides you with an opportunity to plan your life. Take a break from the rush to reflect on if you’re leading a life that does not align with your values and aspirations. I love the quote of Abraham Lincoln: “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” This is possible only when you take a retreat.
At an emotional level, in solitude, you can pay attention to your emotions. It is a door to self-care. Check in with yourself just as you would with your loved ones. How are you feeling? Physically? Emotionally? Mentally? True, you cannot live without emotions and feelings. But how to channel them is to the best of your ability. Jalaluddin Rumi says, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” This exactly happens when you are in solitude. Write in a journal. It’s the most effective method for communicating your thoughts. When you write, spell out your emotions. Be raw; be real. Let it all out—the good and the bad—and watch how you’ll feel lighter every single time you write in your journal/diary.
At a spiritual level, apart from personal growth, perhaps it gives you a chance to learn more about yourself and find your unique voice. It plunges you inside so you may talk to yourself. Solitude is a tool to discover and learn more about who you are as a person. The more you learn to shun external influence, the more comfortable and confident you feel about your authenticity. This self-assurance will then translate into the choices you make going forward. It stimulates your imagination. Individuals who value their time being alone are frequently more imaginative and creative thinkers.
Solitude is the key to higher self-awareness, which then opens the door to change. Sheryl Sandberg says, “We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” Even though it is difficult to spend long periods with your thoughts, it is crucial for your mental health to regularly disconnect from social media in this day and age. You must allow yourself the time you deserve to be with your mind, to look within, and to engage in a meditative experience. You can sit in silence. You can plan your week ahead. You can go for a long walk in nature. It doesn’t matter what you use your time alone for. The most important thing is that you build the habit of embracing solitude and inviting more of it into your life. You’ll learn more about yourself, and you’ll become more aware of your emotions. It’s the best form of self-care, to put it briefly.
“All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone,” Blaise Pascal says. Modern society has developed some negative associations with the idea of being alone. When kids misbehave, parents send them to their rooms to sit in silence as a punishment for their bad behaviour. This will enable the kids to ponder on their behaviour. Staying at home alone on a week-end is frowned upon by many. You’d be considered a mad for doing so, and your friends would ask if you’re okay.
We’ve been socialised to view solitude as a threat. Additionally, we’ve mistaken “being alone” for “being lonely.” Loneliness does not always result from being alone; in fact, many people experience loneliness even when they are surrounded by other people all the time. The greatest way to put it is loneliness is about believing that no one is there for you. However, choosing to spend time alone with your thoughts is what solitude is all about.
The truth is, solitude is necessary for our well-being and potential success. Every year, Bill Gates takes two “Think Weeks” to spend alone in a cabin in the woods. He does it to escape the noise, read books, reflect on his progress, and engage in deeper creative thought. That experience is eye-opening. It sets one on a path of greater self-awareness and provides a much better idea of where one wants to take one’s life. One can leave the week in a peaceful state of mind, with more clarity about goals that one wants to accomplish.
To learn how to spend time alone, you don’t need to travel to a remote cabin in the woods or take a plane to some European country. It only takes 10 to twenty minutes a day to spend alone with your thoughts; if that seems too daunting to begin with, try setting aside 30 minutes on Sunday evenings for yourself. All this contemplation leads to meditation which is nothing else than opening for more self-awareness.
