I have discussed the three types of difficult people. First: We see one of the common traits every other day – a person who runs over everything because he or she has a tendency to intimidate others. The reason? The attitude: “I’m right and you are wrong.” Such person’s behavior is aggressive and even hostile and they intimidate through sheer force and power. Suppose you come across such person whom you can’t take the risk to ignore as he is quite important for your success what all the options you have? It is very difficult to sit down and reason or rationalize with such character. We can call them, the Adamants.
Second category we can call Loners because these people live in their own worlds. They cannot walk with others. They wish to develop their own style often opposite, contradictory and irritating. They usually do not respond to normal orderly techniques. Any kind of motivation fails to change their attitude. They often look frustrated with everything, their own life and the organization they are working for. But they have the tendency to give their feedback about every new initiative. These frustrated souls end up frustrating others because their feedback is worthless often given because they feel themselves superior and feel obliged to correct others.
And the third category is the Unpredictable. This type of person tends to be unapproachable because first you have to walk around them softly to see what kind of day they are having. They will be in a very happy mood one day and the next day exact opposite. They are like explosives. You don’t know when the heat will rise. So while dealing with them you have to be very careful. You will never be in a relaxed mood because you never know what might set him off. I feel this is either due to their upbringing or they have continuously failed in their life, despite their qualification in literal sense and otherwise also. Just close your eyes and you will find many around you, especially in the older lot.
I’ll share my personal strategy to deal with such characters. First, never confront them in public. Deal with them when you are alone with them. Be calm and keep your blood pressure down. Once you will have them alone they will usually not flare up. In case they did, then allow them to blow as hard and as long as necessary without interruption because they won’t be hearing you. When it is all over provide the facts without any emotion. Let them feel that you are unaffected by their emotional outbursts and in fact you hardly care about he just said.
My Observations –
- People become moody to manipulate people and gain control. Never reward or give attention to moody people.
- Everybody in the world has problems; no individual has a right to add his or her personal petty grievances to the load.
- Many people constantly feel sorry for themselves because their work is not appreciated. Our learning as PR person says just one word – appreciate, appreciate, and appreciate. Such people will be very useful to you.
- Be careful while dealing with people who have the attitude of – “it’s the other guy’s fault” and “it’s just the way I’m.” In fact avoid them. They won’t be of any use to you.
- There are people who love to rehearse and replay the injuries they have suffered at the hands of other people. They nurse their wounds and hold onto their wounded ill spirits. Agreed, there is enough garbage in life but it’s not a good idea to collect it and haul it around you. But what you can do? Just nod your head, listen and change the topic, assure them they will enjoy working with you. A word of caution – these people never see the brighter side of life. Don’t keep them in your inner circle.
We have been taught since childhood that a person who sees himself positively also looks for the good in others. It’s all in one’s perspective. Let’s understand with a very popular quote which takes a deep look at perspective first – I act as I see myself. That’s why Jesus spoke about judging others: “why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? First take the log out of your own eye.” He is telling us we need to deal with our own attitudes before we criticize another person.
But before we proceed further, we have to understand the process of relationship.
